seduced

I can feel my brain being spun into goo in these last few days before Thanksgiving break. Fortunately, school has slowed down somewhat. Professors are smart people and realize that we are not at all present when a break is this close. Besides the molasses brain, this week has been pretty great. Peter and I have been talking a lot about experience and how our noses stuck inside books all the time is important but it does not make us very engaging people. Experience was the name of the game this week, and I have had quite a few meaningful ones. I made a connection with a progressive pastor last Sunday during phonathon. We'll hopefully be getting together to gush about Borg and revel in inclusivity and wide and deep grace and liberation against the grain of ultra rigid confessionalism and cheap grace when he comes for a kairos conference in December (plus he donated $50 which is a plus. ) I've spent long hours in conversation with LSS about our partnership and have been working hard on the giving tree program. Pip and I had a date, and I spent more time than ever getting to know other students during dinner. And wouldn't you know it, I have actually stayed up to date with school work. I am finally beginning to be able to balance school and still live like a real person.

Perhaps the most amazing experience I had all week was at church today. At the FTE conference on economic justice in June, my Episcopal friend told me the story of a friend of his who had recently become Episcopal. He spoke of how his friend originally hated saying the creed and the other parts of the liturgy during church because he didn't whole heartedly believe it. He felt as though he was lying. But in following months he came to find the liturgy to be very moving and even central to his faith. In a conversation over coffee he told my friend from the conference that he had been "seduced" by the liturgy. Though, he still did not believe factually in everything that the creed and liturgy said, the words became a part of his faith-a part of his being. Participation in the practices where we meet God propels us into God's activity in the world. God, that tricky coyote (read Asphalt Jesus by Eric Elnes), seduces us, causes us to fall in love with God and with meeting God through participation. This was made so clear to me at church today. The actual service at Jacob's Well was fine and dandy, a surprisingly normal stewardship service, but after the worship time we stuck around. Our conversations with people after the service made us feel more a part of that community than we ever have before. God began to seduce us into God's fold at JW. Then I went to Swahili church where my close friend Pastor Herb Hafferman was delivering the maneno. Hearing the service in Swahili and taking communion in the name of Baba yetu, na Bwana Yesu, na Roho Mtakatifu drew me into a place where I haven't been for a year. I experienced church and God so profoundly though that experience, and so did Peter and Steve. We hope to make it back to Swahili church once every month now. God is one fine seductress.

dawning activism.

Some updates on the happenings here at Luther: Part of my involvement in student council here is to commit to forming and being active in a committee. The committee are essentially campus groups engaged in specific work aimed at benefiting the campus and the community. So a few of us students decided to start the Community Connection Team, committed to service and justice in the Twin Cities. There is a really great core of people involved and we already have drawn up plans for campus wide engagement in issues of poverty. We are coordinating a "mitten tree" with Lutheran Social Services. So, if you are reading this and you are in the area, please stop by and pick up a couple requests for items to donate to LSS! My hope for this group is that we become more and more deeply involved in working against poverty. You know, perhaps the most disappointing thing for me in coming to seminary was what I perceived to be a lack of concern for social justice. There is a rich tradition of justice in Lutheranism (see Bonhoeffer) but I fear that we grace ourselves into complacency and acceptance of our roles in oppressive systems. Grace is important but we must remember that we are freed to be slaves to each other (see Luther's Freedom of a Christian and the uses of the Law). Great, we are saved by grace through faith, now what. Do we only believe because we get to go to heaven or are we captivated by the invitation to live differently than the world, to say no to oppression and fear and certainty and yes to justice and love and faith. The central question here is one that I struggle with on a daily basis: Why Christian? So I am very excited about this new development on campus.

Outside of this, the semester is winding down and that means work. Glorious, glorious work. Fortunately, my job at the phonathon is going to end next week, just in time to focus on the finals. Woo!

all souls day

Today, the day after all saints day, is the Roman Catholic holy day called all souls day. What an appropriate week in my own life. Wednesday saw the passing of the father of my best friend and the loss has rested deep in our community. This day takes on special significance right now in light of this recent tragedy.

The experiential emphasis in our religious experience is especially pertinent for me right now. The experience of the presence of the oppression of death is the one final common human factor. We all die. Unfortunately, we are united in death. Fortunately, in our frailty we meet Christ who has had his share of death.

The unity with Christ and the Christian community has been made especially clear in the last week. The support that Luther extends speaks greatly of the seminary as a Christian community. As a church goer recently said when I interviewed him for a class, "We do death well."

I am about to leave for my friend's father's funeral, thus the short and jumbled entry. I will write again soon.

Tim

wow-long time, short post

Good night.

I have not written in a very long time. I apologize for this and will try once again to make it at least a weekly thing. It has been crazy busy with midterms the past couple weeks and it looks like it will only get crazier in the near future. Oh well, I guess that is what I signed up for. I suppose the horrendous busyness is a good way to teach me to say no to things. For me this is a hard learned lesson, but one I am learning and that I know I will be thankful for in the long run. This is an opportunity to learn what self-care looks like in the midst of chaos. You know, it is kind of silly but the ELCA has this spiritual wholeness wheel that I have been trying to live by the past week or so. Last week was my synod's candidacy retreat and we spent a good deal of time talking about the wheel which has six parts: Physical, social, emotional, intellectual, vocational, and financial. Running through all of these is spiritual wellbeing. Now, I normally think stuff like this is ridiculous, but after just a few weeks of seminary, it is clear that so many church folk need to learn to better care for themselves.

I tell you that to tell you this: today was my first day at my teaching parish. This is a program where seminarians become a part of a single church body in the area. My context is a mission congregation called Jacob's Well. I feel like this is going to be a great fit and it will certainly get me started on my focus on mission and emerging ministries. Today's message was about economic justice and freedom (obviously, being Reformation day, this is not a "regular" Lutheran church). It really made me question my relationship with money which is something that I think about a lot. The question always bothers me: is it ok to still have plenty of money and just give, save, and spend it well or are we called to poverty? This is probably the question I struggle with the most. Jacob's Well today made one of the first decent cases I have ever heard for the first option of stewardship. You can check out their website for more info on the link above. Also, when you get a chance, look at this site. Talk to you soon.

Tim

pleasantly heretical

Good evening. I am just coming from what may have been the most fruitful conversation that I have had here thus far. It came in the most surprising place-from a class that I normally don't put a lot into or get a lot out of. The ruach blows where it pleases. Let me explain.

I haven't been completely honest in my conversations with many of you and in my blog. Seminary, in some ways has been quite a difficult adjustment. I think this explains how I have often felt here: creep. I have felt so out of place in many ways. Like a heretic. I get the whole Lutheran thing and I am more than happy to call myself a Lutheran because of the firm foundation in theology of the cross-what I think to be the most positive theological move that the church has ever made. My big problem has to do with what the church is teaching. In our affluent context, I don't think we need to have such an enormous emphasis on anselmic atonement theory. Great, we're going to heave. Now what? I get it, saved by grace through faith, but I am starting to see that, especially if the Kingdom of God, Jesus central message in the gospels, is to be even a partial reality, then it is time to focus our efforts on community and discipleship. Our churches need to be challenged to listen to what Jesus says in the gospels, and take Him seriously. We are so happy to hear about how we've been saved for heaven, but we are so offended when we are asked to widen our community or work for the hope of the proclamation that salvation is a present reality.

This may be disjointed, but in short, have been drowning in a sea of this orthodoxy here, finding few other friendly heretics with whom I can huddle. Fortunately, no, by the grace of God, I stuck around in my Ed 1 class after we were free to go watch the holy game tonight. The few of us who stuck around talked. I was given a glimmer of grace.

Our conversation boiled down to forming church around perichoretic relationships. This p word is a fancy and very useful way of talking about the Trinity. Mutual indwelling is the fancy term to describe the fancy p word and what that means is that all the parts of the Trinity are interconnected but have sure borders as well. As Tertullian put it, "three persons, one substance." I won't go much further, but I really encourage you to read about it. Moltmann writes extensively on the subject. In any matter, this image of the trinity affects our communities as we seek to form those in the image of the perichoretic trinity. Our communities are called to be places of mutual indwelling and respectful "interpenetration." (snicker at this point.) To put it in the easiest terms possible I will use Peter Rollins' paradigm shift. The old way that church was "done" was modeled in a "Believe-then behave-then belong" paradigm. In this, orthodoxy was key. We formed groups because we believed the same stuff. In this way, salvation is understood as an end event in which we go to heaven for believing the right things (sounds like works righteousness to me.) The shift is being made to "Belong-then Behave-then Believe." Like children born into a family, we first belong to each other and to God. Then this affects our ethics. Finally, we may agree on some points. From this point, we can respectfully disagree and know that none of us know. This may have been a rambling discourse, but it is all I can offer right now. Good night and good luck.

consolation/desolation

Consolation and desolation are two terms used in the Ignatian practice: examen. As far as I understand it, consolation and desolation are the things that enrich our lives and the things that cause us sorrow or trouble. The examen is a practice of reflecting on these two parts of life. While I am not too clear on the practice, I would like to operate in this frame as I consider those things that have been consoling and those that have been desolating in my experience with transitioning to seminary thus far.

Consolation: Community is everywhere, if you look for it. Grad school is quite different than undergrad as they do not have very many synthetic community activities. Yet, one gets very close one's neighbors at an alarming rate when those people memorize the qal paradigm together in Hebrew. People seek each other out for help. We work together and not in competition. This was hard at first, but now I really appreciate it. In short, people study together, and that leads to praying together (at first desperately for help with the qal paradigm). Community is very close.

Desolation: The most difficult and hindering part of seminary thus far has been time. It is so important to be able to manage time here. I figured that it would be simple since I just came from undergrad. I could just operate on the same work schedule and all would be well in my little educational universe. Oh crap, was I ever wrong. Classes are set up in blocks. In other words, most classes meet once every week for 3 hours at a time. This gets real tricky when trying to figure out when to do what. Instead of nice little chunks of work and frequent evaluations (I feel like Lisa) we have rare papers and tests and large, undivided reading assignments. Be warned. Buy a big planner.

Desolation part two: We are forced to journal. I hate journaling. But I'm kind of a big baby.

These will do for now, but I am sure you will hear more. Maybe I'll do it weekly. Who knows. Let me know if you have any questions.

Tim

PS A decent book on EXAMEN is sleeping with bread by Three people named Linn. It is a picture book so not a big time commitment. God knows we don't have any time. Check it out.

the business of the church

Let me begin by explaining that we M Div first years (juniors) have the "extra curricular" assignment for which we find a "teaching congregation" at which we work 10-12 hours every month. I am really quite excited for this project as it is a great way to understand better the life of the parish and a chance to directly move from the ideas discussed in the classroom into the practice of those ideas in the parish. Still, I am a little irked by the way in which the assignment is to be carried out. And my discomfort has to do with the wider practices of the faithful in our American context.

Here is a journal entry for my education course from earlier today:

This revamped form of the teaching parish is, for me, still in the "church shopping" phase. I visit new churches every week as a sojourner to find one that fits. I am torn over whether this is a good method. While we do need o be in congregations that fit and challenge us, a part of me is very uncomfortable with church shopping. It seems ideal to me to have a community parish where one's whole community meets to worship and live life together. But I understand (especially after reading God is Back) that this has never really been a part of our nation's ecclesial landscape. Voluntarism is a part of our faith. I am also made uncomfortable by the language that is directly taken from capitalism. This model is so marketing and business like. It smacks of competition. We must sell our message to the public and the group with the best sales pitch, and who presents the shiniest version of the product gets the customers. The reality of our context is that this tends to be true. Even the emerging church, which I tend to hold up, presents the gospel in a way that is designed to be attractive, ready to consume, and, dare I say, trendy. New monastics-those so ardently opposed to consumer culture-even market their message (see the sales numbers of Claiborne's books).

Now, I wonder, is this a part of the nature of religion, which needs people in order to survive? Or, as a people so shaped by the Wealth of Nations, is this an especially American or post/late-modern phenomenon? Can evangelism be done without the use of micro-economic language that makes the capitalist model its normative framework?

a week

The second week is coming to a close and I certainly need the weekend. I probably won't write long today as I am frightfully tired.

A quick run down of the highlights: since last post I found a new pub to frequent (the dubliner)...you know it's funny, I sat here just now for about three minutes trying to think of other things to say but other than studying I can't think of anything. I basically study. All the time. I am beginning to realize I may have bitten off a rather large chunk this semester. But secretly (not so secretly) I am really enjoying it. I love spending most waking hours studying. And when I am not studying I am normally eating, talking with Pippi, or playing ultimate frisbee. It's a pretty great life. Oh yes, I guess I did get a job with the phonathon which will be great (grads expect a call from me), and I think I've decided upon an emphasis. I am really leaning toward New Testament. I have always pictured myself there, and even if I want to study missiology later on, a NT master's will serve me quite well. This decision is due mostly to the fact that my Luke class and History class are amazing.

For those of you who know her, Pippi is doing great. She is loving her school but is looking forward the end of these six weeks so she can focus on the princess gig. In other related news, we may start a group for spouses on campus just to get together. Many of my friends complain that theirs are depressed and lonely. It shouldn't be that way. Ok, if you can't tell from the poor writing, I am very very tired. So I will try to write more soon. G'night.

Tim

oh yeah, the purpose of this blog

Ok, I wanted to do this in the beginning buy forgot. I just wanted to be clear that this blog is intended to keep me in touch with my various home and supporting congregations, to offer reflections, and to offer insights to those who are considering seminary. So, seriously, if you are considering and have questions that I don't address about anything in the process, from candidacy to admissions, to everyday life, let me know. Most of you have access to my email address. just let me know. ok. Sleepytime. I will write again in about a week.

Tim

well settled in but still getting used to it

As I come to the last day of the first week of classes, I have a lot on my mind. From technical and monetary issues, to juggling social, academic, and spiritual life (complicated by the fact that they are all intertwined), to reflections on the topic of today's chapel. I suppose I am doing what we all are doing: figuring life out while we go along, with an eye toward a hopeful future.

First week, our orientation week, was very helpful. A surprising amount of information was given to us (Luther has some great resources to help students in every aspect of life). I say surprising because most older students complained of first week being very superficial and pointless. Well, it certainly wasn't pointless as I actually know with whom I need to speak when a variety of questions arise, and it most definitely wasn't superficial as we spent the week delving into relevant topics with other students and faculty facilitators. I met a great group of students in my immigration study group who are now becoming my close friends. We also got to experience the cities in a unique way: we spent time at the WAM's Somali photography exhibit, with Lutheran social services, at local global vendors, and in conversation with immigrants and fellow students about God's call to care for the outsider. God really has been opening to me the centrality of community and how our truth and worldview is shaped by our contexts.

Pippi is doing well at her new school and I get to see her ever weekend and maybe one evening during the work week. This weekend we are probably taking our engagement pics with Steve. It will be wonderful when her 6 week gig is up and she can focus on the princess stuff. She is very excited about that.

Classes have been wonderful and disappointing. Some of the classes are challenging and have brought out great conversations about the shape of the Church in our world. (In fact, I think I am going to pick up an emphasis in Congregation and Missional leadership because of one of my classes). Others have been stagnant and frankly boring. There are a few unfortunate times when I feel that Wartburg was more challenging, but I am sure that things will change as the semester goes on. Hebrew takes up most of my time right now, which is great. I love language learning and have never gotten to study a language with such vastly different characters.

A quick reflection: Today's chapel speaker brought up a couple of questions that I think we would do well to ponder. The first was, "What makes us angry?" Reflection upon this can reveal our passions. The second was, "What is our withered hand?" What is that which we are embarrassed to stretch out before our neighbors? And the third was, "What is our nation's withered hand?" Is it putting economic bottom lines before the health of our neighbor? Racism? Jingoism? Xenophobia? Economic violence? Violence against women? Violence against the unborn? Or maybe against those who perform abortions? Greed? The need to always be progressing and growing? Intolerance? Hunger? Wars of terror?

To paraphrase Dr. Jones, let us howl against these things.

Tim

the move

Today is Sunday. The day before the beginning of orientation. Two days after moving in. A week before classes. It has been an eventful couple of weeks since the last post. For those of you who know her, Pippi moved to her suburb and has successfully been organizing her Princess Parties business. She handed out hundreds of business cards, set up a website (http://sites.google.com/site/princesspippiparties/), and appeared at Woodbury Days in her full get up to play with kids and give away cd's she made. She has also secured a full time, 6 week substitute music position at Inver Grove Heights.

Last week was spent blindly preparing for seminary and I moved in on Friday. The whole process went smoothly. It has been odd with no roommate for the last couple of days. First year housing doesn't leave room for more than one person. Hopefully this will not impede community. For me, community is central and it is the only thing that I am nervous about here. Luther is the largest ELCA seminary and I know that it is easy to get lost in a crowd, especially with a fiancee that lives off campus. So, I resolve not to get lost in the crowd. I will find strong community here and make relationships. It is my primary goal. Education is enriched when it is communal and the Christian experience is not Christian without other members of the body. Finding a balance of solitude and community will be a welcome challenge.

This morning, I went to church at St. Anthony's right next door with my friends Peter and Steve. It was obvious that this was a faculty congregation as the service was tremendously "liturgical" (the quotations are because all churches are liturgical in the own way, but I cannot presently think of a better word). The sermon, based on the lectionary readings, concerned the recently passed sexuality statement. I bet this will be true for the next few months. I just hope that all discussion is based on mutual love and understanding and we don't sink into bible bombing as I know that this has certainly happened before. What a wonderful opportunity this business is to realize that our foundation is Christ and that we are bound by nothing else. What an opportunity to stand together as the diverse body of Christ in discussions based in mutuality and respect. Still, I fear that these opportunities will be ignored. I feel very blessed to be in the ELCA at this time and especially to be part of a seminary body which gets to immerse ourselvevs constantly in discussion. I can't wait to see what happens.

Well, orientation starts tomorrow. I will post more regularly now and will let you know how the week goes in a few days. Later.

great preparations

I'm Tim. I'm 22, just graduated from Wartburg College in the Spring and at the end of this week I'll start the process of moving from Elburn, Ill to St. Paul, MN to begin seminary at Luther. The move in process will start Saturday when I help my fiancee, Pippi, move into her new place up North. All in all, the future looks pretty bright. Pippi will live close as she pursues her dreams of being Princess Pippi at birthday parties and libraries, and substitute teaches music classes.

I am outrageously excited to begin seminary and life in a new context.

This summer has been one of great preparations. Together, we have been preparing for our wedding and life together and she has been amazing in encouraging me to prepare for seminary and pastoral ministry. Alone, I have spent the summer working at a day camp in Naperville, IL and studying Greek. The camp gig came to an end a week and a half ago and I have since been focusing more on the Greek. Since I took two years in undergrad, I saw no need to do Summer Greek, but found my skills to be quite rusty. So, I have been rereading the good old text book. Getting Mounced as it is. Nothing like a chapter on Liquid Futures to really brighten up a morning on this little acreage in Illinois. Other than Greek, I spend a lot of time eating my future parents-in-law's food, watching Scrubs, gardening, and reading and meditating.

As may be obvious, I am waiting for a lot to happen right now. I am very much at an in-between stage in life. I am waiting for seminary to start, to get married, and to explore more specifically where God is calling Pippi and I to serve and be. That's not to say that I am discontented with where I am, itching to reach some end. Quite the contrary, I am loving this journey and being out here with people who are grounded deeply in love. It is good. But still, I am excited for the change to come.