stuff i learned from other people

Good evening y'all,

It is Sunday evening, July 25, 2010. We are officially 18 days and 17 hours from the wedding. I could not be more ready. There is a lot left to do but it will happen whether we're ready. Honestly, I can say no cold feet and little nervousness. I'm mostly just excited and ready to be relaxing with my new wife in Mexico. The wedding is fun and all, but I think I'm most looking forward to married life-getting back to St. Paul and settling into life together.

There are three weeks of CPE left. I've loved it, but I'm definitely ready to be back to life as normal. The clinical time with patients has been my favorite. Don't get me wrong, the group time and on call has been fine-but the best part is really existing with people as they travel through some life changing times.

Last week we had our "CPE day" with the other advocate health centers. This was definitely one of the academic highlights of the summer. The keynote speaker was the Rev. Dr. Teresa Snorton. She is the director of the national ACPE and bishop of the Christian Methodist Episcopal church. Dr. Snorton spoke beautifully to us about diversity in ministry. During her presentation, I had the opportunity to share my theological traditions with the people at my table. At this, I realized that I owe a lot to denominations other than the ELCA that have had an affect on my worldview. Specifically, I have learned a lot from the anabaptist peace churches and the UUs. There are others that have influenced me, but these are a couple that I have not previously acknowledged. From the first, I have grown into an ethic of nonviolence. From the second I have learned quite a bit.

I attended a UU community for a while in college and was attracted to it for a number of reasons. First, the UUs are held together not necessarily by doctrine or dogma, but by practice and appreciation for the dignity of all peoples. Similarly, I do not believe that we are ultimately judged by intellectual assent to doctrine. Intellectual assent does not ultimately define our stance before our graceful, loving God. Christianity is about more than assent. It is about community and practice. If I were ultimately judged by whether I believed everything perfectly, I would certainly be damned. Second, the UUs have a profound respect for other religions. Third, I experienced radical hospitality from UUs. I felt accepted wholly, simply for who I was. This is the kind of church God desires. Well, you might ask what brought me back to the ELCA? Sin. What I first appreciate about Lutheranism is the reality with which it understands humanity. There is something deeply wrong about humanity. Something that needs redeemed. Lutheranism points to and even emphasizes this. During lent, the congregations confront this communally. In our culture of excess, it is so important to admit that we are broken and sinful, that we participate daily in systems of sin and that there is no way to shake this sin without the help of God. This is the language my spirit speaks.

a midsummer's blah blah

hola y'all!

i've decided, for a change of pace, to write this entry kind of ee cummings style with no capitals. why? because i can. life is good here in the sweltering heat of the swift moving summer. i'm currently at the hospital serving my on call evening. i've really lucked out in a lot of ways with my placement this summer. for example (and yes, this is totally bragging), i don't have over night on calls. instead, we just stay around all day until 11. this is very much appreciated, especially after weeks like the last one. it was quite an emotionally charged one here at the hospital and at home as well. i sat with patients in real desperate and moving situations and got to be present in some really life changing moments. i can't and won't give more detail than that, but i will say that it was as rewarding as it was exhausting. after serving on call last week i simply collapsed into my bed from exhaustion. while i would love to maybe try a year program of chaplain residency, i definitely do not think that i would be cut out for this sort of intense spiritual care as a full time job. well, i guess this is all part of the discernment process.

at home, pippi and i are well into the final throws of wedding planning. it seems to me that there is more and more to do every day. but fortunately i have a level headed fiancee who tells me that we are right on schedule. i like her. i really just wish it was august 16th and we were sitting on the beach enjoying the sun together. soon enough.

in my devotional times, i have been thinking a lot about a short piece of hindu scripture i read in heidi neumark's book breathing space. while i can't recite it here from memory, i can share with you the general gist. it is basically about the strength of motion. that the sturdy, stable tree is brought down, torn from the ground, by rushing waters. life for me, and general life in the hospital seems to be always rushing. this story reminds me that, while i do need to allow rest for myself, God most certainly meets me in the hustle. these rushing waters are blessed. patients often speak about trying to go with the flow. this is especially true on the cvicu floor. while i hope that they do take the time and courage to assert themselves so they make sure their humanity is honored with dignity in this building, i do think that this can be a healthy attitude for a person to have. we move with the currents of life, allowing ourselves the full experience of change, renewal, and loss. in this motion we meet God.