i've decided, for a change of pace, to write this entry kind of ee cummings style with no capitals. why? because i can. life is good here in the sweltering heat of the swift moving summer. i'm currently at the hospital serving my on call evening. i've really lucked out in a lot of ways with my placement this summer. for example (and yes, this is totally bragging), i don't have over night on calls. instead, we just stay around all day until 11. this is very much appreciated, especially after weeks like the last one. it was quite an emotionally charged one here at the hospital and at home as well. i sat with patients in real desperate and moving situations and got to be present in some really life changing moments. i can't and won't give more detail than that, but i will say that it was as rewarding as it was exhausting. after serving on call last week i simply collapsed into my bed from exhaustion. while i would love to maybe try a year program of chaplain residency, i definitely do not think that i would be cut out for this sort of intense spiritual care as a full time job. well, i guess this is all part of the discernment process.
at home, pippi and i are well into the final throws of wedding planning. it seems to me that there is more and more to do every day. but fortunately i have a level headed fiancee who tells me that we are right on schedule. i like her. i really just wish it was august 16th and we were sitting on the beach enjoying the sun together. soon enough.
in my devotional times, i have been thinking a lot about a short piece of hindu scripture i read in heidi neumark's book breathing space. while i can't recite it here from memory, i can share with you the general gist. it is basically about the strength of motion. that the sturdy, stable tree is brought down, torn from the ground, by rushing waters. life for me, and general life in the hospital seems to be always rushing. this story reminds me that, while i do need to allow rest for myself, God most certainly meets me in the hustle. these rushing waters are blessed. patients often speak about trying to go with the flow. this is especially true on the cvicu floor. while i hope that they do take the time and courage to assert themselves so they make sure their humanity is honored with dignity in this building, i do think that this can be a healthy attitude for a person to have. we move with the currents of life, allowing ourselves the full experience of change, renewal, and loss. in this motion we meet God.
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